Anxiety

So, over the past few years, I have developed social anxiety. I'm not sure when it started exactly, but I just noticed I was getting really nervous just doing simple things, like talking to people.

Anytime I feel like there is a potential for me to be judged, or criticized, I freeze up. My heart pounds like crazy, and on the inside, I feel like my world is coming to an end. It's the most horrible feeling at the pit of my stomache. I suddenly blank out, and I end up saying the stupidest. impulsive things. I stutter, I can't pronounce words.

It basically happens when I'm with people I have just met, or people I don't feel safe around. It doesn't really go away with time. As in, if I feel unsafe with them, and continue to feel unsafe, I will consistently have anxiety around that particular person. There are certain people I open up to and let them see the weird, ridiculous side of me. These people can feel it though, because I'm an open book. I don't bother hiding myself because I CAN'T. I suck at it. So, if a certain person is close to me, they would know. I act completely at ease with them.
 However, the minute I feel unsafe, or threatened, it's almost an innate reaction to just put up a wall and shut them out with distance. If I nice one moment and suddenly shutting you out the next, at least you'll know why. Simple translation: I can't trust you anymore